I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
