when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
