What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize