you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
