remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
