i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She bit a glass in half.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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