omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
this is an emotional support booty call
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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