the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
