there's paper in my vomit.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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