I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
