I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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