IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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