At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
