just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
