Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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