Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
