I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize