if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
