i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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