I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
