well you can't waste a boner
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
