i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
