respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
