That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
my liver is dry heaving
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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