Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
