my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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