That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize