oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
