so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
