i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
