How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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