Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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