jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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