Betty ford says i'm here all night
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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