I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
