Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He keeps bees of course he's weird
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
