He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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