i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Randomize
