I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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