i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
