Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Found your dick twin last night
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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