i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
