You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
