were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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