If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
