what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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