The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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