Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
