can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
