If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize