Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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