seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
