Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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