Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You pole danced in your parka.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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