New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What a dumb baby whore.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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