Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
