Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
