all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
