I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
