you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
