You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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