Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
