is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize