Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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