You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
