i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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