Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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