Jerry, you need to find god
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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