even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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