U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
