I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
