I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dear god my vagina.
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