It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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